I was watching the [tag]news[/tag] the other day because I was contemplating taking my own life and I figured that would put me over the edge. I got out my [tag]P2000[/tag] and started watching…..
Blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah……….
I pick up my finely German engineered people killer and feel the nicely balanced weight and custom hand grip in my hand.
Blah blah, got shot, blah blah will kill you
I press the barrel to the side of my head. I feel the cool steel rim of the barrel pressed against my temple realizing how much I would miss sensations like this.
Scientists think they found evidence of liquid water on [tag]Mars[/tag]…..
What?!
Crater blah blah, new deposits blah blah, probe blah blah
Wow! that’s pretty fucking cool! Maybe I should stick around for awhile…
You know what they say Lonnie?
OH GOD! A FUCKING NEWSCASTER SENTIMENT!
Scientists say where’s there’s water….
I cock the hammer back with my thumb, (since my pistol doesn’t have a safety and is double-action only I don’t want the recoil to mess up my shot)
there’s a small chance, just a small one….
My finger feels the polymer trigger, funny how a simple digit can end everything just from a nerve signal sent by my brain
of a [tag]Starbucks[/tag] going up.
Huh? Wait a minute, that’s goddamn funny. I can’t believe that I enjoyed a newscaster joke. What the fuck is wrong with me? What am I going to tell my friends? What’s next? Am I going to buy a Volkswagon and shop at the Gap?
Click, BANG!
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December 12, 2006 at 9:33 pm
JustSomeChick
So, my honest opinion of this: I spoke to you after I read this, and you said that anyone who knows you would know it was a joke. I am not really sure what kind of “humor” you are going for, and I learned that I really don’t know you that well. In fact, I don’t know you at all.
For you to post something like this, and be surprised when there are people who were (and are) actually concerned makes me think that you are incredible self-absorbed. Seriously, maybe you have never actually had thoughts like this, and if that is the case you are very fortunate. All of this made me realize that you know nothing about me either.
Overall I thought that this “joke” was insulting to those of us who have struggled with depression and thoughts of suicide. Next time you write a joke you should seriously consider those who would be reading this and maybe life isn’t always a joke to them.
December 14, 2006 at 3:47 pm
Alex
Wow, well I didn’t think of that when I wrote this. I suppose this can be taking the wrong way and I apologize to anyone that took it like that. That was not my intention.